teeny tiny things.

you may know that i'm applying to the national theatre school for costume and set design. the application process includes costume illustrations for each character, ground plans, sketches of the set, and an actual scale model of the set design. due this monday. we had a choice of four plays, and i was undecided until, well, yesterday. i have a lot of stuff on the go right now so i considered letting it go since i don't at all expect to even get an interview, let alone accepted. but my application fee is paid and i figured i might as well.

building a set model is time-consuming stuff. especially considering i know absolutely nothing about set design. the proportions are teeny. i've been making stools that are 1/4" wide. i feel like i could be enjoying this more if i didn't have other things on the go, most of which i'm also annoyed at.

the fashion show is this weekend, and i regret signing up. there was a rehearsal last weekend and it was basically the most disorganized thing ever. we stood around for hours while the people in charge debated whether or not the models should pose at the beginning or end of the runway. tickets cost more than anyone will be willing to pay, for a few people to walk through the cafe in t-shirts that seem to have been ordered online and beaded jewelry that would better suit women of the middle-aged variety. and my clothes are nowhere near finished. they'll either be different from everyone else and awesome, or unfinished and shitty.

my theatre class is also not my favourite thing at the moment. the prof seems to be hated by everyone she has taught. i don't really know why, i can't pinpoint what it is that makes her so hard to like. but there's something. i also, for some reason, dread going in to work in the costume shop. i feel like the theatre designer is constantly judging me. she's quite picky, which i suppose is a good thing if she wants her "vision" realized, but there doesn't seem to be much of a vision at all. the costumes i've seen in this theatre group's productions have not really been my favourite, homemade-looking or pieces that seem strangely out of place. then again, i don't have any right to judge someone who's designed for years. what have i done? i keep telling myself that costume design is what i want to do with myself but i'm beginning to realize that i don't really like theatre people. i don't know what it is. i can't say why. but i just don't feel comfortable around theatre people.

i think my problem is that what i want to do falls somewhere right around the middle of the art/fashion/costume triangle. i don't exactly know what you can do with that. work for the haus of gaga.