things as they come to me.

i like buying things. polar bear parkas and fur coats and poofy dresses. i need to start checking out yard sales and antiques stores again.

i had a job interview today at a war museum. they said they'd call this evening but i don't think they will now.

i have been watching doctor who. i don't know if i like it or not but i can't stop watching. i'm almost caught up. the new series only, of course. david tennant is so adorable. the new guy is also but i think it's mostly the bow tie and tight pants.

i haven't been listening to sunset rubdown every moment of my life. this is a good sign.

i also haven't cross-stitched. but i have almost finished my second grey sock.

i am disappointed in lost.

i want to move into my apartment.

my friend had a party and her friends from school who i don't know came and i only felt normal-me-awkward rather than me-at-a-party awkward. that was nice.

i went through a bunch of my grandmother's photo albums, some from when i was a kid and some from when my mom and her siblings were around my age. i want to scan and preserve the old ones because there are a bunch of polaroids that are seriously fading and they're really great. i love seeing my grandmother's house, which is now my aunt's, covered in wood paneling and rust-coloured shag carpet.

i hope i age well like my parents. and grandmother.

i always think i want to live somewhere not so close to here, just me and, if i have one, my significant other. but then i go through those photos and realize how much fun we had as a family when we were kids. maybe i'll want that eventually. i don't know.

whenever i think the words "when i have kids" it's like "when i have kids i'll show them all these cool things i owned and pass them down to them" or "i'll dress them in vintage and miniature-adult-clothes so they'll be cool". these are really bad reasons to have kids. i don't think i should have kids if i'm going to hand down my useless junk that they won't care about or force them to wear bow ties or pantyhose and tuck in their shirts since that would probably get them teased mercilessly in school. no, i think i'm too selfish to ever have kids.

ew, babies. blaaaaah everyone is turning 20. i don't want to turn 20. i don't know how to be a responsible adult.

i've stopped remembering my dreams. i haven't remembered any for the past three nights, and only a snippet or two from the several nights before. i miss them. they were so good at first.