oh hey this is different.

i've been drifting in and out of nocturnal mode. i do this because i tell myself that i work better at night but i'm not really sure if that's true since i spent most of my night stumbling and looking up old sunset rubdown videos. i really want to get started on my photo project but i don't have a key to the studio and can't really get one until monday. er, tomorrow.

i'm thinking about the summer. about whether or not i should try and get a job in sackville. it might be good for me to stay here and try and meet some new people. i don't know if i would do that or just stay inside all summer and be a recluse like usual. but i know that in sussex there's not much for me.

every once in a while i have thoughts about moving somewhere else and starting over socially. pretending i've always been outgoing and confident and make it seem like i know so much about indie music and literature. or seeming more mysterious so people are intrigued by the mysterious new girl. i wonder which would make me more friends. probably the fake one. if it were a movie, someone would notice the mysterious new girl frequenting some bar by herself. maybe doing some needlework or just sitting and pondering. or the new mysterious me would be into very intellectual-seeming literature. and this person would be intrigued and life would turn out like that mysterious couple i talked about last time.

i really want to travel. someone asked me recently if i've ever traveled. i said i've only been to the canadian provinces as far as ontario, maine, new york. she said that doesn't count as traveling. i tend to agree.

i want to get a photo studio key so i can give myself a moustache and hunchback and spotty face and act like they're fashionable.

i like talking to the internet instead of real people. no real people are awake at 6:30 am.