i've been trying to do this art history essay that was due on wednesday all week, and i just can't do it. i don't know how and i don't have the will to do it. i'm behind in every class and i'm just feeling completely and totally overwhelmed. i really can't do it.
i used to be a good student. i've never passed in anything late before. i have a scholarship to keep up and handing in this essay late might be the thing that makes me lose it. but i don't even care. well i do care. but the only reason i care about my marks is because that extra $3000 per year is pretty handy. once that's gone i really have no reason to care. and in my mind it's gone so there's no reason to try hard anymore.
i don't feel like i deserve the marks i've been getting. i don't think i even deserve to be here anymore. i've been blowing off my responsibilities all semester. because every week or two i've been having these breakdowns where i feel like there's no way i can just do everything i need to do. i've always gotten it done but this time is just so much worse.
i've given up not whining. it's essential to my sanity. i just don't understand why lately i feel so fucking overwhelmed all the time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
sophomore slump....I don't know what year you are, but I recognize the feeling. Don't give up, it's just something you have to work though. our society is set up in a way that we think we can do more than we can. once you realize that you're expecting too much from yourself, it somehow becomes easier to handle life. Good luck, I'm sure you'll figure this out. :)
ReplyDeletekellyyy how can i help? just tell me and i will do it! you need a break, or something. text me! i don't know if you'll get this, but i hope you do.
ReplyDeletekelly! I just found your blog again and your stuff blows my mind. I know you're super stressed but you definitely deserve the marks you get etc etc etc. It's hard to keep up in everything but I really admire what a hard worker you are and you don't normally complain so I think it's good to get it out of your system. I hope your art history essay went/ is going well. I am rooting for you! I'll be your personal cheer leader. :)
ReplyDelete